26th ninth of november (2021)

Hello. It’s been a while. So, it’s the time of the year again. No, it's not the new year yet. It’s the day we were brought to the earth thing. You know. Humans call this their birthday. So, it is our 26^th birthday. I wish I can tell you that we have accomplished a lot in life or successfully overcome the greatest challenges (or helped maintain world peace) but sorry to disappoint you that it’s nothing like you probably have in mind. We’re just regular. Pretty boring life, I can say. Not much has happened. Well, other than the fact that unfortunately, we had a quite major mental breakdown yet thankfully it was over. We normalized being vulnerable most of the time that we cannot even effort to experience happiness. 

I wish you still remember the deadline we have given ourselves when we were in college. I know you do because I am you. Well, not gonna lie, I am pretty stressed about that lately, not like thinking about it 24/7 but I guess it is enough to think about. Yeah, we are talking about our deadline to get married. And since I am currently literally having nobody in my heart at all. I guess we can talk about this pretty seriously now. I know that I have been a coward all my life. I still am and will always be because people don’t change that easily. However, I wish I can be a hero of my life at least once (or a couple of times maybe) when someday I need myself the most. I know that it’s theoretically easy but practically almost impossible. We’ve been through this for years, for the past 25 years of human life. We are now turning 26 and I wish we can at least say we’re proud of ourselves. No time for more self-loathing, I am begging you all. We need to find our happiness. We need to be financially independent as soon as possible. I like Lisa’s song a lot, that sidetrack called money, I can say I am obsessed. 

Lets keep this simple. The next time we fall in love, we need to say it out loud without thinking. Even if it is just the slightest crush or any kind. We will speak our minds. No more hiding feelings. We don’t know how much time we have left on earth so we need to act fast. Our deadline is 5 years. We need to get married at the age of as soon as 29 or as late as 30. I don’t know who. I don’t care how. I know we can do this. I really wish. Thank you.