less anxious since ramadan starts

 

I know, its only been the second day of Ramadan. But please trust me when I tell you this, I’ve been feeling a lot better emotionally. The atmosphere has completely changed, the boiling hot day light sunshine transformed into the most comfortable warmth on every inch of my skin unlike any other. It has also been raining a lot, April feels more like a December than ever before. I momentarily made my YouTube videos private, I might set them into public once the Ramadan ended later on (or not. I genuinely do not know because my mind changes daily or even per hour. so no promises to anything in particular. the only certainty is the uncertainty.) I enjoy reading both the Quran as well as fiction books I’ve been collecting from the past few weeks.

I know, it’s the time of the year when the mosque is full with people, a lot of new faces I’ve never seen, but that’s totally all right. That’s the point of Ramadan anyway. The sinners get the second chances (including me) and the good ones can be even better than they already were. No judgment, no whatsoever. I also haven’t heard back from the fourth campus I was applying to. My heart secretly hoping that the magic from Ramadan can get me an acceptance letter, but my realistic brain won’t let me to do it.

Still considering whether my book reviews videos will be uploaded on my main channel or on my other channel with zero subscribers. The same thing goes to my college decision reactions videos. But I still have a whole month before finally made my mind. Currently trying to consistently uploading my one video one juz of quran recitation just because I wanted to, to keep myself on track and keep moving forward. But then again, I dont really know, it might be working just fine or it might not at all.