pengalaman pertama ikut cpns (dan tentu saja gagal)
dont get me wrong, im not nervous at all. it's a nothing to lose kinda situation here going on. kalau lulus ya sukur kalau gak lulus ya sudahlah. however, i only got 6 more point to go to actually make it and that pissed me off so much. jadwal tes hari jumat, sekarang sudah minggu dan masih emosi. maksudnya adalah, kalau hasilnya semua jelek maka saya bisa bahagia menerima fakta bahwa yeah im not that smart so it is what it is. tapi ternyata bisa lulus passing grade twk dan tiu malah kurang 6 poin di tkp. memang secara total nilainya tidak tinggi tapi ada rasa mengganjal dan jengkel yang tidak bisa dijelaskan. my mom has always wanted me to do this type of things, this is because "kalau belum jadi pns belum jadi orang belum sukses hidup belum aman" whatever thingy. she never actually approved of my long list of work experiences even until now because all those things are not pns things. sudah sejak selesai bachelor degree selalu disuruh but i keep saying no. now i already
