nothing in particular whatsoever

How can you maintain the feelings for one person that always hurt you? Chats and voice calls just to tell that they’re having another issue with their partner and wanted you to listen and tell them that everything is going to be just fine? Even after one book, you wrote for them so that they can understand your feelings better? You want to say no? you want to block them? But you just don’t have what it takes to see them being sad? For you, that it is always good to put aside your emotions or tears or depression just to make them feel better by consequently making you suffer until later or forever you know better?

How one person can make you feel so many things simultaneously at the same time? How could one person stays in your heart for so long? How can you never succeed in seeing them differently? How can you never forget them since the first time you got to meet them? How can you be so foolish and grateful for that? How can you never meet a new person and try being happy for a little while? How can you never learn the lesson you got? And just how do you manage to keep being such an idiot?

How to change your mind that you can never reach the stars because they’ll burn you dead if you try to get closer to them? How can you adore the moon even if you know it can only look beautiful from a distance because when you visit it you’ll get cold? How can you throw yourself to the ocean while clearly, you have no idea how to swim? How can you swallow poison every day knowing you’ll get sick and slowly die after that? How can you try knocking on the invisible doors that have no keys?