still too scare to do anything

I was planning to talk with my 3 years crush and having the last picture together with her, but it did not happen, because I was too scared. This got me thinking, regret, on the way home and before sleep. It was my last chance because she’s going to take the morning flight the next day to continue her study in other country, I just wanted to have simple last conversation so things can actually clearly ends but I failed.

Turns out that the ending I’ve been thinking about is not happening the way I want it. I am still as coward as I was three years ago and I need to let her go without the chance to just say goodbye.

My best bro was there with me at the wedding party where my crush became one of the bridesmaid, he keep pushing me to do my plan, my simple plan of just talking with her and ask to taking picture together, but I cannot do anything.

Yes I want to forget her and yes I just want a simple conversation for the very last time with her but it did not go the way I planned because I was too scared. Her boyfriend was there too but only my best bro manage to notice him at that night, and it was too late for me to say hi even if I wanted to, so yeah.

Later in home, when I was about to go to sleep, I finally sent a chat to her about what happened earlier that how I wished to take a picture with her but I was just simply too scare to do it and then I went to sleep after a very long night.

She replied the chat in the morning saying why would I even scare and why didn’t I just jump in and taking picture together with many other friends. Maybe she was just being nice to reply the chat. Then I felt bad for sending such an idiotic chat such as that last night and cannot reply the chat anymore.

I do hope that this is really the last writing about her I have ever written.